All posts by jcjosAdmin

We’re not here to make things perfect.

“I love you. Not like they told you love is and I didn’t know this either.
But love don’t make things nice, it ruins everything, it breaks your heart,
it makes things a mess. We’re not here to make things perfect.
Snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us.
We are here to ruin ourselves and break our hearts and love the wrong people and die.”


Why? because I am that Sick and Twisted

Such is the darkness of my humour and my friends;
upon looking and reading what is happening in the USA
one of them sent me a link to try cheer me up.
A Massively Multi-Player Web-Based Zombie Apocalypse

65,352 dead and rising.

Created by Kevan Davis, July 2005.

The city is dying. A month on from the first reported outbreak,
military quarantine units have closed Malton’s borders, and are moving in to eliminate the looters,
to forcibly evacuate those civilians who still refuse to leave their homes.

The city is dying, and the urban dead are filling its streets.

New Orleans Nightmare
The guy runs the servers.
This is the horror of what has been happening in New Orleans.

Honestly I am not shocked, trying hard to think too much of the kids
trapped there in that nightmare, esp as I took my to to school this morning at the start of the term time.

Filk ?

“I Am the Bleekin’ Model of a Treecat Telempathical”
(“I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General”) — Pirates of Penzance
Jonathan Cresswell

I am the bleekin’ model of a treecat telempathical,
I groom myself and never need to suffer splash embathical,
I’m named as was the carrier for Nimitz, famous ad-mir-al,
But never carry passengers; my flea-spray gives ’em sad morale.
I bonded with the Commodore long years ago when we were young,
I’ve been with her through triumph great and heard the mourning songs she’s sung,
We’ve marched with folk who’ve been through wars that match the scars of Punic’s hell…
(swell? Krell? hm….ah!)
And particularly note the ones who wear those bright red tunics well!

(Particularly note the ones who wear those bright red tunics well!
Particularly note the ones who wear those bright red tunics well!
Particularly note the ones who wear those bright red tunics, who nix well!)

I act as her creative and emotional barometer
And show her state of mind when I’m within a rough kilometer;
In short in matters empathetic, mental but non-mathical,
I am the bleekin’ model of a treecat telempathical!

I sleep a lot, but often have the power of a Mallory;
I don’t get paid but you could say I really earn my celery.
I follow Honor minds a-linked and loyally devotional,
(She handles all the tactics stuff, and I do things emotional.)
I keep her on an even keel no matter what her attitude,
I kick her when she’s listless and I tell her she’s a brat o’ ‘tude,
I steady her when mood swings are a-clawing at her self-esteem…
(team? dream? hm….ah, i have it!)
I only need to nip her and AHA! she has a wealth o’ steam!

(He only needs to nip her and AHA! she has a wealth o’ steam!
He only needs to nip her and AHA! she has a wealth o’ steam!
He only needs to nip her and AHA! she has a wealth o’ healthy steam!)

I study her subordinates and help her all their habits peg
And do it with my eyes shut, chewing on a well-cooked rabbit’s leg;
In short, in matters empathetic, mental but non-mathical,
I am the bleekin’ model of a treecat telempathical!

I’ve been with her since kittenhood and know her mind in every bit
(You might just say that Honor Harrington has built me from a kit.)
I know when she is intimate but I think that is all for schnooks,
It’s only bombs and lasers with X-ray-ted roles in these here books!
If anyone should threaten her and make a fuss with fists or jaws,
I put a contract out upon them…sharpened with a lot of clause;
When danger nears I sense it, and make certain that ne’er it catch her…
(burr?…fur? AHA!)
And now I find I have the knack to mentally caricature!

(And now he finds he has the knack to mentally caricature!
And now he finds he has the knack to mentally caricature!
And now he finds he has the knack to mentally carica-trickature!)

Our names are famous for our feats and no one dares accost hers now;
She’s got a treecat name that sounds a bit like Kevin Costner’s now;
In short, in matters empathetic, mental but non-mathical,
I am the bleekin’ model of a treecat telempathical!

in town this evening

Looks like there are going to be a whole heap of people in town this evening.
Those that got tickets to the FireFly movie [I hates you all ],
and those who didnt but are using it as an excuse to see something else
and meet up with people for drinks before and after.

The bar in UGC will be an intresting place to say the least.

Someone you know has had an abortion.

IFPA Launches Campaign for Safe and Legal Abortion in Ireland

Between January 1980 and December 2004, at least 117,673 women traveled from Ireland for abortion services in Britain. There are no statistics to account for the number of women who travel to other countries for abortion services

These are not faceless numbers.

This is your sister, your friend, your work college, your aunt, your mother, your girl friend, your ex girl friend, the person you see on the dart, luas, bus every morning,the girl in the newsagents, or checkouts or the girl that was giving you the eye the last time you were in that bar.

Every one of them made that very hard choice, made even harder by having to travel and in years gone by not being able to get information.

And then you have those that could not get the money together.
Who say they love their kid but wished their life could have been different but they did not have the money for flights ect.

Ideally every act of conception should be one that both people have planned but life doesn’t work that way, esp with the lack of education and of cheap contraception in this country.

So we ignore the big taboo.
Women don’t tell their stories.
They don’t share why they full of relief, guilt,sadness and happiness twice a year, usually the date of their termination and that date the child would have been born.

Being in the enviable position of having to think about an abortion is hard.
Having to make that choice is hard.

Having to make an appointment to get information or a referral is hard.
Keeping that appointment and talking out loud about your choice is hard.
Booking flights and traveling over, knowing that the mid morning flights
carry other women like you and the air stewards can spot them is hard.

Having to get into a taxi and give the name of the clinic and seeing the look of sympathy or shock, hard.
Facing the dr and the counselor in the clinic in the UK and having them ask
you if you are sure even after you have traveled all the way there is hard.
Traveling home, telling no one, having to go through the mental , emotional, hormonal and physical aftermath of a termination and most people not knowing what is up with you and you can’t tell them is hard.

Having this topic bandied about by people who have never been through it is hard.
Seeing pro lifer nuts on the streets of our city condemning so many women is hard.
Having it used as a political foot ball is hard.
Having it said that it is political foot ball is hard.
Having people make moral judgment about who would or could have a termination is hard.

And they say we DON’T punish women for having abortions in this country don’t make me laugh.

Being able to be there for a friend and travel with them and offer solace
and waiting for their call or text on those two days a year is hard also
but nothing compared to what they have been through.

Why do we fall ?

“Why do we Fall?, so that we may pick ourselves back up.”

The tower

The Tower

Divinatory meaning
Upright – Disruption. Conflict. Change. Sudden violent loss. Overthrow of an existing way of life.
Major changes. Disruption of well worn routines. Ruin and disturbance. Dramatic upheaval.
change of residence or job sometimes both at once. Widespread repercussions of actions.
In the end, enlightenment and freedom.

Well that has pretty much been the last 7 weeks of my life.
And now come the part where the forest fire has finished and the smoke has cleared
and you’re left standing taking stock of what has been left behind.

Goodbye clutter and preconceptions, mental or emotional or otherwise.
It like a lego monstrosity, it had used up sooo much time and most of the pieces.
you can’t build anything new, there are no more peices to build anything new, or any room.
You pull bits of and prop it up and move bits arround to try make it different
to try make it work but it only distracts for a while.
You cant bring yourself to scrap it as you have but so much of yourself,
you time hopes dreams tears into it. You did have fun, and there was once hope
it would be what you dreamed and planned , but it isnt.

And then CRASH it falls off the table.

No matter what you do to try collect all the pieces it will never happen.
They get lost or loose themselves, under the sofa, some get swept into the bin
some get stood on and broken.

You can never rebuild what was.
There is always grief and tears and loss and anger and frustration.
You gather up and salvage what you can.
You collect and preserve the important parts and try to ensure they didnt get damaged
or will not get damaged but what will follow.

Then the smoke and tears clear and you can go build again, older and hopefully wiser.
Determined that what will be built this time will be closer to what you want, what you need it to be.
Time to think and start small and see what happens.
To look over the chunks that remain and keep the esstaintal and maybe dissassemble that which will now not fit.
But building all the same.

Everyone likes to watch a wrecking ball.
Few can stand to see the wreckage,
fewer can deal with the clean up.
And when rebuilding there has to be one concept , one dream, a pure vision to begin with.
Such are created by one person not a committee.

Then comes the day when your ready to rebuild.
you have let go of what was and look forward to what will be,
and the new struggles and puzzles and challenges.
That comes when you are ready, and if other people arent well then
they need more time to cling to what was, or to or to get over the shock let them.
It was not thiers to begin with.

now to see if lego, crazy glue, felt and glitter will mix.