death and discomfort

My Gran died. It was not unexpected she was after all 84 and had been in unwell for the last two years and on oxygen for the last 12mtns. She died at home on her bed in her room where she gave birth do all her 8 children. She was tired and worn out but thankfully not in a lot of pain.

She was rather pissed off when the pope died she really didn’t think that she would out live him. She didn’t think much of the new one. I do have things in common with her.
the same outspokenness and smutty sense of humour. She lived a hell of a live in a time
Of big changes in this country, she moved from Mayo to Dublin to be a children’s maid at the age of 16 and spent some time in service before she meet and married my Granddad who was 14 years older then her.

They had been on several dates when one day she got off the tram to meet him wearing of all things the latest fashion a trouser suit. My Granddad insisted that she get back on the tram and told her she would be waiting for her when she returned wearing a skirt that she
was no hussy and ladies wear skirts and he was to be the only one wearing trousers in this relationship. My Granddad died when I was 11 but even I do know that they loved each other dearly and she was looking forward to seeing him when she died.

My Mam is understandably upset but glad that Gran has finally gone and as much as she misses her would prefer that she went the way she did and won’t suffer the degrading decline which would have be her fate if she had of lived longer. My Mam spent 6 to 8 hours a day with my Gran and was her medical guardian so it is a loving burden that has been lifted.

The funeral will be after the bank holiday weekend. So well so much for avoiding my family after the fun of the wedding. I can’t not go to the funeral, I do infact want to go and be there and pay my respects. My ex wants to go too. He has been in my life and that of my family for the last 9 years. He liked my Gran and most of my family and extended
Family. It is understandable that my ex wants to be there for his own reasons.

But if my ex attends that will mean the person I am seeing most likely will not, as not to cause a fuss. He wants to go and be there for me and hold my and hug me and be supportive in all the ways that I need and that my ex will not and can not be; to let me know that I am not alone.

Tbh I want him there with me for my own selfish reasons.
He wasn’t at the wedding but damn it he is a part of my life and most likely will be
for a long time to come as a lover and a friend who will always be in my life.
Is it wrong to want to have someone there at your grandmother’s funeral that will comfort and console you?

Thankfully my ex’s mother is taking the kids for some of their midterm break, so they will be well cared for and away in wexford and not at the funeral.

5 thoughts on “death and discomfort”

  1. Is it wrong to want to have someone there at your grandmother’s funeral that will comfort and console you?

    Not at all and it sounds like you need him there. Think of youself (for a change) and bring him.

    Sorry about your gran, your having a rough year, aren’t you? Hang in there. :-*

  2. Ah Sweets, I’m sorry for you loss. 🙁

    I have to agree , take your man with you. You need comfort and the support , you shouldn’t be expected to go alone.

  3. I am really sorry to hear of your loss. I was in a similar situation with having support at my cousins funeral 2 years ago and it is not an easy situation to resolve but you have to think of yourself, I ended up not taking my bf and I regretted it.

    Best wishes,


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