Tag Archives: human-rights

Ladies who lunch? Part 1

So over the last 10 weeks my daughter has been in a Mindfullness program aimed at teens, to help them figure out their emotions, triggers and find ways to deal with a range of things, from negative thought patterns, panic attack, temper outburts. While the teens have been attending the 90min sessions some of us parents would go for coffee or lunch and chat.

The parents I did this with all turned out to be mothers, rather then fathers as it’s still expected or easier for them to get time off work to do bring their children or else they are a stay at home parent due to the extra care their child needs.

It was nice to spend some time with them and to exchange war stories, to know my kids ‘weridness’ is actually pretty normal for kids on the autism spectrum. Over the 10 weeks we laughed, cried, shared and reached a certain comfort level. Our last ladies who lunch session was this week. The topic of teenage sex and sex education and the pressures on teens to become sexually active was trashed out over lattes, tea and sparking waters.

The point was made that it’s not really that different from when we were teenagers and they started disclosing how old they were when they lost their virginity. This was the end of my feeling included and the same as them. I don’t even define virginity in the same way, or even sex it seems. I had to decide would I be the only one who didn’t share, should I share but only speak to part of my sexual history which was similar to them perpetuating bisexual erasure or would I flat out say my first sexual partner was a teenage girl like I was.

 

This

So I took a deep breath, while no one said anything mean or biphobic, some were startled, and there were a moment or two of silence. No one asked questions, but then the topic was swiftly changed to if anyone was going anyway over the summer holidays and how difficult doing that is with children who don’t cope well with a change in routine.

It was a few moments discord in what had been 10 weeks of all just getting along, but it still happened. It’s been said that we never stop coming out, but I can see why people stop, as it can make life easier. Maybe I just need to go to lunch with a different type of Ladies.

May is the month of M…….

May is the month of Mental health awareness and Masturbation*.

NationalMasturbationMonth2 Mental-Health-Ribbon-148x150
The fact that both these causes are being celebrated in May makes me happy as I do believe that they are very much intertwined. Our brains are the biggest sex organs we have, it is not surprising then, that our mental health impacts on our sexual health and our sexual well being impacts on our mental and emotional well being.

I do believe that you the best way to learn to be a good lover is to start with yourself. That masturbation should be mentioned as part of sex and sexuality education. Often people’s sexual hang ups can start with themselves and how masturbation is spoken about or more often not spoken about.

The right to sex and sexuality eduction, contraception, information about safer sex and to not be stigmatized for our sexuality, are important and when we don’t have access to these or when our choices are not respected it has a negative impact.

Today also sees the a launch of the International Planned Parenthood Federation campaign to have such rights placed in part of the goals for 2020.

“We want a world where all women, men and young people have access to the sexual and reproductive health information and services they need; a world in which sexuality is recognised both as a natural and precious aspect of life and as a fundamental right; a world in which choices are fully respected, and where stigma and discrimination have no place. This vision must be realised within a context of sustainable development that seeks to meet the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs,” said the IPPF, a global network of 152 member associations working in more than 170 countries.

This is also a big issue for those of us who are Queer, LGBT and those who are asexual. When people expect others to live in a certain way or conform and the mainstream narrative and services do not include us it causes stress. Finding counselors, drs, therapists who are alt/queer friendly with whom you can go see and not have to educate them is difficult.

Loving yourself means accepting yourself and finding joy in who you are, be it in self pleasure or sexual expression. I honestly do think that if more people were having daily orgasms they and the world would be in better shape.

Knowledge is power, and we dis empower people when we deny who they are and deny them information, education and access to the services they need.

The Slogan the IPPF are using the slogan “I Decide” which is all about empowerment, to call for sexual and reproductive health and rights to be adopted by the UN and are asking for us all to sign their petition to make it happen. http://www.ippf.org/vision2020 I have signed it I hope you will too.

Wether you do it before or after some stress relieving self loving is up to yourself.

*Yes the title of the blog post was totally intentional, how many of ye ended up with that hymn in your head? “May is the month of Mary, month we all love so well….” how to spot those of a a certain generation who had an irish catholic education. You may confess in the comments 🙂

Death shows need for abortion services, family planning organisation says

Death shows need for abortion services, family planning organisation says The Irish Times – Mon, Jul 22, 2013.

“Mr Behan said the IFPA frequently had clients who experience difficulties raising the money to travel and to pay for an abortion and who had later-term abortions as a result.

“If they were resident in the UK and there was a serious health issue the abortion would be available to them, free of charge on the NHS.”

He said the case underlined the need for abortion legislation which protected the health and not just the life of a woman.

The National Women’s Council of Ireland too said the case “points to the needs for safe and legal abortion services in Ireland” and to the “artificial and unworkable distinction between a threat to the health and a threat to the life of the woman”.

“It also shows the devastating impact being forced to journey overseas has on women emotionally and physically,” said Jacqueline Healy, women’s health and human rights spokeswoman with the council said.”

It is estimated 12 women a day travel to the UK for abortions, I wonder how many don’t due to the cost. All other maternity related services in this country are free. Where a woman needs an abortion due to the impact the pregnancy is having on her health she should be able to have it here.

The abortion support network takes calls everyday from desperate women who can’t afford to travel who are trying to scrape together the money needed. One of the volunteers who answers those calls, wrote about some of thier stories here. http://www.thejournal.ie/readme/column-the-debates-on-abortion-in-the-dail-wont-change-the-reality-irish-women-face-every-day-993657-Jul2013/

Given the cost it is no wonder that women traveling from Ireland put their lives at risk to return as soon as possible and with the stigma many do not get the aftercare they need, esp if things don’t go as best they can.

Abortion after care, is free. Both the physical check up and counseling if women needed it.
http://www.abortionaftercare.ie/ lists services around Ireland which are funded by the HSE.
But beware some of these are how ever pro life, esp the Cura branches.
Personally I would recommended in Dublin http://femplus.ie/services/crisis-pregnancy/

Survivors of Symphysiotomy are still waiting 10 years on.

It has been over 3 years from when I first wrote about the horrors of symphysiotomy in Ireland here on my blog. Back then many people had no idea what it was, or why it happened or the horrendous effect it had on the women it was preformed on. That changed when it was featured on Prime time.

The reason it was featured was that it was then 10 years from when the Survivors of symphysiotomy had been promised a review of their cases. The Article here dated 24/06/2003 show those women sharing their stories.

Symphysiotomy survivors demand inquiry – irishhealth.com.

Some of those women are no longer with us and while we have seen the government promise a bill to amend the statute of limitation to allow for redress there is no sign of it reaching the final stages as the end of the working period for the Dáil draws near, despite The Statute of Limitations (Amendment) Bill 2013 passing Second Stage on 17 April.

So the Survivors of Symphysiotomy put out the word they would be demostrating today and http://tradeuniontv.ie/ were there to cover it.

Survivors of Symphysiotomy

19 June 2013
SoS driven to demonstrate: 8 and 1/2 weeks later, our Bill STILL hasn’t come before the Justice Committee. The Minister for Justice doesn’t seem to be making himself available, so the Bill has yet to be tabled. We are holding a DEMO – our first – this coming Wednesday, 26 June, at 11 a.m., outside the Dail. Please bring banners, buggies and above all, bodies! Let’s shame this Government into doing the right thing by survivors of symphysiotomy.

Ireland is indeed being haunted by the many wrongs it allowed to happen, hopefully those ladies will not be made to wait any longer.

I am not an Athiest but….

I am not an Atheist but I am going to the Empowering Women Through Secularism conference being run by Atheist Ireland.

Why? because I believe in the separation of church and state and that Ireland should be a secular republic, which respects the rights of all and that we should have freedom of religion and freedom from religion. That our state run or state funded schools, hospitals ect should not be biased towards serving or promoting any religion but should respect the diversity of our nation and all those living here.

Secularism is not just a cause for atheists, I know that being of a minority religious group which the State barely recognizes my rights and the rights of my children are effected by Ireland being purported to be a ‘catholic’ country.


http://ewts2013.com/2013/04/19/topics-at-empowering-women-through-secularism-2013/

Secularism protects freedom of conscience, and advances equal rights for women. And, whether you are a woman or a man, you can help to shape the future of secular activism and women’s rights around the world by coming to Dublin this June.

You will hear and meet and socialise with inspiring speakers and panelists and conference participants from around the world. You will help to shape strategies for positive change, and vote on an international Declaration on Empowering Women Through Secularism.

We will discuss how religion and religiously-influenced laws discriminate against women in areas from healthcare, sexuality and reproductive rights to education, careers and social policy, as well as how to combat violence against women and the history and future of women in atheist and secular activism.
Topics will include

How religiously-inspired laws discriminate against women
How secularism protects freedom of conscience
How secularism advances equal rights for women
Healthcare, sexuality and reproductive rights
Education, careers, and social policy
Combatting violence against women
History and future of women in secular activism
Political strategies, media and building coalitions
Declaration on Empowering Women Through Secularism

I will be doing some tweet coverage of the event and will do write ups on the bits with interested me. I am lucky to be able to attend as I have been given a sponsored ticket via the lovely Geoff Lillis who for an Atheist is a fun person 😀 I believe he may have some more sponsored tickets for activists who want to attend and you can find his blog about the event here: http://geoffsshorts.blogspot.ie/2013/05/free-ticket-to-empowering-women-through.html

Talkin’ ’bout a Revolution

This time 25 years ago the first single of Tracy Chapman’s self entitled debut album was making it’s way up the Irish charts and getting a lot of air play on local and national radio stations. I was turning 13 and so much of my memory of back then is tied in with that single which was Fast Car.

It speaks of a young woman’s search for love and a better life then she has seen her parents create. About being so desperate to get away from her life that she takes up with the first guy who has a fast car and try to get away to only unknowingly re create a relationship similar to what her parents had.

Talkin’ ’bout a Revolution was released at the end of the 80s when Ireland and so many places around the world had been struggling with the tough economic times. It spoke of hope and of the end of oppression.

25 years later it seems not much has changed.

While they’re standing in the welfare lines
Crying at the doorsteps of those armies of salvation
Wasting time in the unemployment lines
Sitting around waiting for a promotion
Don’t you know, they’re talkin’ ’bout a revolution
It sounds like a whisper

Even more so when you listen to “Behind the Wall”
The un accompanied vocal is stark and sad, as stark and sad as the story it is telling.

Last night I heard the screaming
Loud voices behind the wall
Another sleepless night for me
It won’t do no good to call
The police
Always come late
If they come at all

And when they arrive
They say they can’t interfere
With domestic affairs
Between a man and his wife
And as they walk out the door
The tears well up in her eyes

Last night I heard the screaming
Then a silence that chilled my soul
Prayed that I was dreaming
When I saw the ambulance in the road

And the policeman said
“I’m here to keep the peace.
Will the crowd disperse?
I think we all could use some sleep.”

Last night I heard the screaming
Loud voices behind the wall
Another sleepless night for me
It won’t do no good to call
The police
Always come late
If they come at all

This week there has been a very high profile case in the papers,
but it is one of many, too many. 25 years later there are too many men and women who are in abusive relationships, who are isolated, ignored, unsupported while too many of us turn a blind eye and a deaf ear and blame them reducing a very complex and harrowing situation to victim blaming.

Behind the wall had a profound effect on me as a young teen.
The scary thing is shortly my own daughter turns 13 and not enough has changed in the last 25 years.

We need again to start ‘Talkin’ ’bout a Revolution’,

StandupIreland and Occult Ireland.

StandupIreland is a group which seems to have formed in November 2012 and who’s focus is on reopening the Vatican Embassy here in Ireland after it was closed in the wake of the child abuse cover up by the Roman Catholic Church.

They state on their website http://www.irelandstandup.org/index.html they they are a lay group of Catholics which are working together and they are very active on twitter.

And that is were I have interacted with them. They have been very active as the XCase Legislation is slowly making progress and they started interacting with me after some of my tweets had been RT by the Irish Choice Network account. This was aprox a year ago and I tweeted that I was going out to an Occult Ireland meet up and this seems to fascinate them. So much so that a year later they are still trying to bemirch me and other people who are pro choice by asking if they are are going to Occult meetings with me.

https://twitter.com/IrelandStandUp/statuses/346044456098750464

sui

It would seem that those behind StandupIreland seem to think that going to Occult meetings or having anything to do with the occult is wrong and something to try and belittle someone over and try and ‘taint’ others by association.

I am baffled by this. I am out as being a pagan and Witch, I’ve been a moderator and admin for pagan communities and a member of the Occult Ireland forum for nearly 7 years. I’ve gone to moots, meet ups, Sabbaths, have run workshops, given talks, have been a speaker at a weekend pagan/Irish spirituality conference, have written the forward for Lora O’Brien’s latest book A Practical Guide to Irish Spirituality
have been staff manager at Féile Draíochta (anyone who knows me can easily pick me out in the staff photo).

None of these are anything I am ashamed of and I don’t see why I have to be. Ireland has a long history of it’s citizens being involved in the Occult. Indeed the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn which is considered to be the greatest single influence on Western Magic and Occult systems and even Wicca had many Irish members.

Two of the most notable are W.B. Yeats and Maud Gonne. They were magical partners before she was married and their Occult correspondences are on view to any who may wish to read them as part of the W.B. Yeats exhibition in the National Library of Ireland on Kildare st. There is a virtual tour of the exhibition online which can be viewed here http://www.nli.ie/yeats/main.html

gdwby

It seems that in trying to dream up a better Ireland they searched for all possible tools. I don’t think that they would have wished an Ireland into being which was one that lacked diversity and derided their own spiritual explorations.

Chairman says health of mother and not just life needs protection

Chairman says health of mother and not just life needs protection .

The legal situation should be addressed “urgently” to ensure that not only the life but the health of the mother can be protected in pregnancy, the chairman of the review team said.

Prof Sabaratnam Arulkumaran was asked whether, to ensure another woman did not die in circumstances similar to those in which Savita Halappanavar had died, the law should permit termination of pregnancy where there was a threat to the health and not just to the life of the mother.

He replied: “Yes.”

More women could die in Irish hospitals in a manner similar to Savita Halappanavar unless legal clarity is provided for doctors on when they can intervene to terminate a pregnancy, the HSE report into her death has warned.Savita Halappanavar report: Tragic. Devastating.
Savita Halappanavar (left of photo) with children at Galway’s St Patrick’s day parade.The girl with the diamond smile
Dr Katherine Astbury advised Savita Halappanavar and her husband that a termination might have to be considered after a diagnosis of sepsis was confirmed. Photograph: Eric LukeTermination was denied at first because clinicians believed their ‘hands were tied’
Sabaratnam Arulkatumaran (left), Chairperson, and Dr Philip Crowler, National Director for Quality and Patient Safety, at the publication of the HSE clinical review report into the death of Savita Halappanavar on Thursday. Photograph: Eric LukeSerious gaps remain in what we know about operations in the hospital
“Failing to devise and follow a plan of care for this patient” is a fairly damning indictment of the healthcare professionals who looked after Ms Halappanavar. Photograph: Eric LukeMedical view: Focus on basics of care likely to help save lives

The Irish Times takes no responsibility for the content or availability of other websites.

“There are certain conditions a pregnant mother might have which can suddenly escalate – for example in this particular situation from an infection that is very localised but which spreads to the whole body and is sepsis.

“With severe sepsis the mortality rate is about 40 per cent, and if she goes into septic shock the mortality rate can be as much as 60 per cent. This can be in a very short period of time which means that [if] intervening is at a later stage it is difficult to bring the patient back to normality and to control.

Medical community
“So what we are saying is the medical community have to discuss with the legal profession if you really want to say the chances of making sure someone survives; this needs discussion.

“We don’t want another death happening because there is some ambiguity about how they interpret the law.”

He also said there were situations where a mother’s health only was threatened but which could escalate rapidly into a situation where her health would be permanently damaged.

“If you have infection, by the time it comes to sepsis and severe sepsis the fallopian tubes might be injured, she can become sub-fertile, she might have [later] an ectopic pregnancy. Life-long she might have pelvic inflammatory disease. I mean, how much are you prepared to take before considering termination of pregnancy?

“At what point is this going to give permanent injury to the woman, or what point might it escalate to death.”

He said too much responsibility was on individual doctors to interpret when it was legal to intervene, leading some to wait until the foetal heart stopped to be sure they were acting within the law.

“Even until the last minute they are waiting for the foetal heart to disappear before the termination would be considered. Some might have done it much earlier … so it seems to be a little bit individual, even within Ireland. So we must have some definitive meanings as to when you think this should be done.”

His patient
If Savita had been his patient in the UK she would have been offered a termination on Sunday, October 21st, the day she went into hospital. “If it was my case I would have terminated the pregnancy,” he said.

We need to get the 8th amendment repealed to safe guard women’s health.

The personal is political: my family’s childcare role-reversal

Today in the Irish Times the wonderful Anthea McTeirnan talks about family life.

The personal is political: my family’s childcare role-reversal – .

Not for us a stay-at-home mother prone to outbreaks of baking and bathos and a thrusting, briefcase-carrying, disciplinarian dad. We were going to do things differently. And we did. Sort of.

In 1995, just as our second son reached 18 months, a job came up in the sports department at The Irish Times. I was a freelance journalist, and this was a full-time, permanent, pensionable job, previously occupied only by men. I got it.

Swap roles
So we decided to swap roles. I was to be the main wage earner, Kevin was to go part-time and do the bulk of the childcare.

While choosing to have a stay at home Dad is still seen as strange, it’s not to me as my Dad became the stay at home parent when I was about 10, and my Mam was the one who went out to work, he did everything the 5 of us needed, all the school runs, volunteered in the school, parents association. One of my early memories of having my hair done was his big strong gentle hands trying to get my mane into a pony tail and swearing when the bobbin snapped.

He did a great job with the 5 of us, both my parents did. His mother brought him up with the belief hands had no gender and he surprised more then a few people when he’d change my terrycloth nappy himself as a baby rather then hand me off to my mother. There was no such thing as ‘women’s work’ growing up, there was just the things which needed doing in the house as part of being a family, which means caring and sharing it all.

In Ireland we have not statutory paternity leave or shared parenting leave after the birth of adoption of a child. It is something which I know we need. We need a better division of child care and labour in the home rather then the default thinking being it is automatically ‘women’s work’, and that starts with sharing the work load from the beginning.

It will also mean when an employer is looking at two candidates for a job who are in their late 20s to late 30s, a man is just as likely to need time off when having children as a woman might.