dissociate
vb
1. to break or cause to break the association between (people, organizations, etc.)
2. (tr) to regard or treat as separate or unconnected
3. to undergo or subject to dissociation

I recently left a certain on line grouping or a clique if you will,I did so quietly hoping to cause as little disruption as possible. I requested one of those who had the power to remove my access to do so and thought I had made it pretty clear that it was about me, that there was no one outstanding issue, I didn’t want there to be any drama, I just didn’t feel comfortable posting there and if I am not going to be posting I didn’t see the point of me being nosey and reading about others.

I never asked for a fuss not to be made, I didn’t post a thread saying sod you all I am leaving.
I had hope my request to go quietly would be honored and it would just look like I wasn’t arsed posting and that people would eventually forget that I had had access there.

Unfortunately this didn’t happen, and I ended up with emails, pms and texts last Friday when I was up the wall with kids, co parents in transatlantic transit, missing bankcards and Gaelcon. I am still in the wake of Gaelcon with work to be done still, but I have finally recovered enough to have the time to write this, an explanation and an apology.

I am sorry if any one has had hurt feelings about me leaving.
I am sorry if it came as a shock to you, but I didn’t have any input to what happened or how things were handled, or any announcements made after my access was removed.

I am sorry if any one has felt/was made to feel that they and/or their actions alone were responsible for me leaving, as they are not, so no finger pointing please; if I had outstanding personal issues with someone I would have dealt with them personally. I have not removed/blocked anyone from my friends/contact lists on any of the online media I use, in fact I have added people.

I asked for my access to be removed because I didn’t feel comfortable posting there any more.
I had feel something shift in me and I took a long hard look at the reasons why and I first felt that way over 10 months ago so it’s not like this was a impulse decision or a reaction to any one thing.
The whole of a things being greater then the sum of it’s parts is something I have found very much to be true of on line groupings and communities and somewhere along the line my affection for that place waned.

My affection for those who are a part of it has not but there seemed to be at least to me an under current of tension and bitchiness which had not been there before and it unsettled and disturbed me. I didn’t know if anyone else felt the same way, I know that is just how I have been feeling and if everyone else was happy I wasn’t going to piss in the punch cos I was the only one not enjoying the party. So I opted to leave quietly, to slip out and leave people to get on with it, knowing that even with not being in that online place there are others were we would interact and be in touch.

The gods know there is more enough interaction between different pockets of people in that large clique via phone/email/ghcat that seems to go on in the back ground( I say seems as I was never a part of such things), so it’s not like people don’t interact with each other away from that one online space and as I have already told someone who connected with me via facebook I am always happy to be in touch with people who want to be in touch with me and what is going on in my life.

My perception, my feelings, my disquiet, my choice, my life and I for one don’t think my actions in this have been something I should say sorry for, I did my best to not let my choice of action to negatively impact on people and the group as a whole unfortunately other’s didn’t have as much consideration it seems which I am saddened and disappointed by as it has lead to hurt feelings and confusion and me having write this tract. I hope this has cleared things up a little and will help calm things down, I never meant to ruffle any feathers and wish everyone the best for the celtic new year to come. Happy Hollow’een.