in town this evening

Looks like there are going to be a whole heap of people in town this evening.
Those that got tickets to the FireFly movie [I hates you all ],
and those who didnt but are using it as an excuse to see something else
and meet up with people for drinks before and after.

The bar in UGC will be an intresting place to say the least.

Someone you know has had an abortion.

IFPA Launches Campaign for Safe and Legal Abortion in Ireland
http://www.ifpa.ie/news/index.php?mr=111

Between January 1980 and December 2004, at least 117,673 women traveled from Ireland for abortion services in Britain. There are no statistics to account for the number of women who travel to other countries for abortion services

http://www.ifpa.ie/abortion/iabst.html

These are not faceless numbers.

This is your sister, your friend, your work college, your aunt, your mother, your girl friend, your ex girl friend, the person you see on the dart, luas, bus every morning,the girl in the newsagents, or checkouts or the girl that was giving you the eye the last time you were in that bar.

Every one of them made that very hard choice, made even harder by having to travel and in years gone by not being able to get information.

And then you have those that could not get the money together.
Who say they love their kid but wished their life could have been different but they did not have the money for flights ect.

Ideally every act of conception should be one that both people have planned but life doesn’t work that way, esp with the lack of education and of cheap contraception in this country.

So we ignore the big taboo.
Women don’t tell their stories.
They don’t share why they full of relief, guilt,sadness and happiness twice a year, usually the date of their termination and that date the child would have been born.

Being in the enviable position of having to think about an abortion is hard.
Having to make that choice is hard.

Having to make an appointment to get information or a referral is hard.
Keeping that appointment and talking out loud about your choice is hard.
Booking flights and traveling over, knowing that the mid morning flights
carry other women like you and the air stewards can spot them is hard.

Having to get into a taxi and give the name of the clinic and seeing the look of sympathy or shock, hard.
Facing the dr and the counselor in the clinic in the UK and having them ask
you if you are sure even after you have traveled all the way there is hard.
Traveling home, telling no one, having to go through the mental , emotional, hormonal and physical aftermath of a termination and most people not knowing what is up with you and you can’t tell them is hard.

Having this topic bandied about by people who have never been through it is hard.
Seeing pro lifer nuts on the streets of our city condemning so many women is hard.
Having it used as a political foot ball is hard.
Having it said that it is political foot ball is hard.
Having people make moral judgment about who would or could have a termination is hard.

And they say we DON’T punish women for having abortions in this country don’t make me laugh.

Being able to be there for a friend and travel with them and offer solace
and waiting for their call or text on those two days a year is hard also
but nothing compared to what they have been through.

Why do we fall ?

“Why do we Fall?, so that we may pick ourselves back up.”

The tower

The Tower

Divinatory meaning
Upright – Disruption. Conflict. Change. Sudden violent loss. Overthrow of an existing way of life.
Major changes. Disruption of well worn routines. Ruin and disturbance. Dramatic upheaval.
change of residence or job sometimes both at once. Widespread repercussions of actions.
In the end, enlightenment and freedom.

Well that has pretty much been the last 7 weeks of my life.
And now come the part where the forest fire has finished and the smoke has cleared
and you’re left standing taking stock of what has been left behind.

Goodbye clutter and preconceptions, mental or emotional or otherwise.
It like a lego monstrosity, it had used up sooo much time and most of the pieces.
you can’t build anything new, there are no more peices to build anything new, or any room.
You pull bits of and prop it up and move bits arround to try make it different
to try make it work but it only distracts for a while.
You cant bring yourself to scrap it as you have but so much of yourself,
you time hopes dreams tears into it. You did have fun, and there was once hope
it would be what you dreamed and planned , but it isnt.

And then CRASH it falls off the table.

No matter what you do to try collect all the pieces it will never happen.
They get lost or loose themselves, under the sofa, some get swept into the bin
some get stood on and broken.

You can never rebuild what was.
There is always grief and tears and loss and anger and frustration.
You gather up and salvage what you can.
You collect and preserve the important parts and try to ensure they didnt get damaged
or will not get damaged but what will follow.

Then the smoke and tears clear and you can go build again, older and hopefully wiser.
Determined that what will be built this time will be closer to what you want, what you need it to be.
Time to think and start small and see what happens.
To look over the chunks that remain and keep the esstaintal and maybe dissassemble that which will now not fit.
But building all the same.

Everyone likes to watch a wrecking ball.
Few can stand to see the wreckage,
fewer can deal with the clean up.
And when rebuilding there has to be one concept , one dream, a pure vision to begin with.
Such are created by one person not a committee.

Then comes the day when your ready to rebuild.
you have let go of what was and look forward to what will be,
and the new struggles and puzzles and challenges.
That comes when you are ready, and if other people arent well then
they need more time to cling to what was, or to or to get over the shock let them.
It was not thiers to begin with.

now to see if lego, crazy glue, felt and glitter will mix.

aarrrghhh my brian

It could be worse, it could.
It’s not her fault really she is like 5 and at least it is sort of rock.
It could be a crappy boy band or sclub7 type thing.
But is Jpop, and not all uberly cute crap either.
But being woken up to the strains of Planet toyko and then it being on
replay for an hour is a bit much.

Gods damn it why did I ever let her watch Teen Titans.

http://www.puffyamiyumi.com/

You will change because life is change

From time to time, you will make mistakes. They’re inevitable. Sometimes those mistakes will be…huge. What matters is that you learn from them. There’s nothing wrong with falling down, so long as you end up just two inches taller when you pick yourself up off the floor. At times, you may end up far away from home. You may not be sure of where you belong anymore. But home is always there. Because home is not a place. It’s wherever your passion takes you. As you continue on your path…you will lose some friends and gain new ones. The process is painful, but often necessary. They will change, and you will change because life is change. From time to time…they must find their own way, and that way may not be yours. Enjoy them for what they are. And remember them for what they were.
I really do believe that sooner or later, no matter what happens…things do work out. Oh, we have hard times. We suffer. We lose loved ones. The road is never easy. It was never meant to be easy. But in the long run…if you stay true to what you believe, things do work out. Always be willing to fight for what you believe in. It doesn’t matter if 1000 people agree with you or one person agrees with you. It doesn’t matter if you stand completely alone. Fight for what you believe in.
– from “Babylon 5: Objects at Rest”

Love me or loath me and leave me be.

We can all only live one life, our own.
We can all only make choices and judgement calls about one life, our own.
We can only strive and work towards what is best for us in our life;
and hopefully those that are in our life, who choose to be in our lives
as family and friends will support or at least respect how we choose to live our lives.

Sounds simple, it is horridly hard.
We cant change the people in our live and what they think or how they feel.
We just have to be prepared that some of our choices in our lives may
have the effect of them not being in our lives anymore for reasons of thier own.
Doesnt mean we like it, doesnt mean it wont hurt and we wont miss them but
We have to respect thier choices and their judgement calls that they have made about thier life.

How things have changed in 21 years.

Sometimes it can feel like nothing has changed and it takes taking a deep breath and looking back to see how much they have.

I was far too young 30 years ago when the debate around the Pro Life amendment was happening in 1983. How ever I do remember clearly the X Case, the Supreme court ruling and the 2 referendum which followed.

So what has changed in the last 21 years?

To start with we can buy condoms over the counter and from vending machines. The HSE has websites about contraception, S.T.I.’s and sex education for children and parents. The morning after pill was certified for use and has gone from being prescription only to being over the counter in many parts of the country. We have a national cervical screening service.

For me the biggest changes is that of people’s attitudes.

In February 1992 when I sided with Miss X and said she should have the right to an abortion here in Ireland; that women should have the right to choose. For daring to say this I was utterly ostracised by my peers in 6th year in convent school. Was pulled aside by teachers, nuns and other students and lectured to how wrong and immoral I was.

By the time the first referendum on the Supreme court ruling came around it was November 1992 I was working, the discussions were still hushed and saying that I was pro choice was still shocking.

That referendum 21 years ago, gave Irish women the right to travel and the right to information, which eventually saw the funding for crises pregnancy counselling and the setting up of Positive Options, AbortionAftercare.ie and the Crisis Pregnancy Helpline (Lo Call 1850 49 50 51).

Today the IFPA commented on the stats released by the UK Department of Health on the number of women who gave an Irish address when they traveled to the UK for an abortion. 3,982 women gave Irish addresses last year, at least 21 from every county, we are aware of these women, they are known about and spoken about in a way which they certainly were not 21 years ago.

Some of these women have been coming forward to share their stories, most noticeably the members of Terminations For Medical Reasons group. Such tragic endings to pregnancies were not spoken about it was consider too taboo. The same way women who died in or soon after child birth was considered taboo.

21 years on we finally have a government which will legislate for the X Case.

21 years on we have TDs who are willing to fight for abortion rights beyond the X Case.

21 years on we have TDs and Senators who are openly Pro Choice.

21 years on we have Doctors for Choice speaking up for doctors and for the women who come to them.

21 years on poll after poll show that the overwhelming majority of people in this country are in favor of a range of abortion rights to safe guard the lives and health of women.

21 years on we have generations of younger voters who want women to have the choice to continue a pregnancy or not.

21 years on we have a growing network of pro choice people all over the country and a national campaign to work towards making abortion free safe and legal here in Ireland.

Despite hearing the same rhetoric in the Dáil and in the media from those who oppose a bill, which will only legislates for what has been a legal right to abortion in this country for the last 21 years ago much has changed.

Yes there is much more work to be done but it is easier to be out and proud of being pro choice and wonderful to work with so many wonderful people who do not want to wait another 21 years for real abortion rights.