We either value child and famlies or we don’t.

One of the threads in humanites at the moment is driving me a little nuts.
For the most part it is a bunch of blokes talking about women being less ambitious then men as women have the
‘choice’ to opt of of a career or take a lesser job or job share and take less ambitious chore of rearing children

Less ambitious……. how is bringing another person into this world and looking after them and trying to see that they
have all the skills and opportunities they need to survive and thrive in this world while trying not to fuck them up
less ambitious ?

You know you can be sitting reading the whole of all the house cleaning and management done, the windows and skirting boards all shiny and the children are playing in the garden and you know what you are still working as a stay at home parent.
You are not leaving the children alone, unsupervised and fending for them, you are ready to tend their needs.
There is not 30 hours physical work in cleaning a house, doing laundry and cooking ( unless you are a neat freak and suffer from OCD ), but the tending to the children and errands easily adds at least another 20 hours on to that in a 5 day week.

Life is not simple it is not black and white or prepackaged.
Due to the fact no contraceptives are 100% accidents happen,
Due to the facts of biology women have to bear the children,
Due to the facts of biology women have a hardwired chemical process that
Starts the drive to need and care for the infant.
Due to the lack of work life balance and child care in this country many new
Mothers find them selves bewildered when they can’t find a life solution
That works with out being detrimental to them or their working life or the child.

Lets face it has usually been that only the reasonably wealth could afford to have a cleaner and a nanny to ‘pick up the slack’ until the child could be shipped off to boarding school from Victorian times up until very recently.

But due to the Celtic tiger, the rise in the cost of living, house prices, expected lifestyles (your not living if you car is 5 years old, you don’t go abroad on holidays or out on the town once a month) more women are struggling to go back to work and are being crippled (alone or with their partner) emotionally and finically due to the lack of good affordable childcare
Or opting not to have children at all.

We have to look at the impact on society of falling birthrates as the age demographics of this country starts to shift like Germany and France has,
The impact of substandard childcare and the impact on children that the ages of
14 on wards are becoming latch key kids.

They come home from school and are left to tend to themselves until their
Parents arrive in from work at 7 or later and end up not having the parent child
Interactions needed to guide them or to have their parents talk with them to advise them or just even to listen about them.
You end up with a bunch of strangers with the same gene code sharing a house and then the parents are surprised when it comes out their marry or john has a drink/drugs/selfharm/sti/depression/food issue at the age of 15/16/17 when the parents have given them every material want.

Are women less ambitious then men? No
Are women less career driven then men? No
Are parents faced with more important issues then career ambition? Yes

Yes having children should be a personal choice but it should not be THAT hard.
We should support families, children and the next generations.
There should be tax breaks for parents because they have children,
There should be proper state funded childcare,
Stay at home careers should have their work valued even if it was their PRSI payment covered while they rear the next generation.

We either value children and families or we don’t.

Contrast and can’t sleep.

There are films you watch and there are films you listen to.
Everyone has comfort films, mind usually are Dune, Blade Runner (dir cut).
Either of them I have watched and watched and enjoy just the sound of the film that I can do other things or even sleep when they are on, drifting off even when sleep seems to elude me.

Then are are the films you rarly watch but they are an odd part of you all the same like Witches of Eastwich and Moonstruck
( Can’t see myself being able to what THAT one for friggin months, ” a Wolf with out his paw, a Bride with out her head” )

There is there is a mad wide away at 4 am when the film that you never watch with anyone and most people don’t even know you have a copy of it comes out. Guess it is a bit like having a smoked rasher, cheddar cheese french toast sandwhich ( make the sandwhich dip in beaten egg and fry like french toast ) for breakfast. Hmmm yummy heartattck sandwhich.

Well that film for me has to be the one these two songs were in.

_______________________________________________________________________________________
There are worse things I could do,
than go with a boy or two
Even though the neighborhood thinks
I’m trashy and no good I suppose it could be true,
but there are worse things I could do I could flirt
with all the guys, smile at them and bat my eyes.
Press against them when we dance,
make them think they stand a chance
and then refuse to see it through,
that’s the thing I’d never do. I can stay home every night
Wait around for Mr. Right, take cold showers everyday,
and throw my life away, on a dream that won’t come true
I could hurt someone like me, out of spite or jealousy,
I don’t steal and I don’t lie, but I can feel and I cry
In fact I’ll bet you never knew, but to cry in front of you,
that’s the worse thing I could do.

______________________________________________________________________________________

You don’t remember me,
but I remember you ‘t was not so long ago,
you broke my heart in two
Tears on my pillow, pain in my heart, caused by you, you
If we could start anew, I wouldn’t hesitate
I’d gladly take you back, and tempt the hands of fate
Tears on my pillow, pain in my heart,
caused by you, you, you, you, you
Love is not a gadget, love is not a toy
When you find the one you love, he’ll fill your heart with joy
If we could start anew, I wouldn’t hesitate
I’d gladly take you back, and tempt the hands of fate
Tears on my pillow, pain in my heart, caused by you, you
No, no no no now, no, no no (You…)

Your girl is lovely, Hubbell.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070903/

Mem’ries,
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? could we?
Mem’ries, may be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember…
The way we were…
The way we were…

——————————————————————————————-

Some weekends are for sitting and having a glorious film fest at home in your slippers,
the type where the sofa is the centre of the house and you can just about put everything
you’re going to need for 5 hours within arms reach on the sitting room table.

I also finally got around to watching all of Hero and the house of flying daggers.
The art of cinemaphotograhpy I feel is rarely used but the use of gels and colours in Hero was a visual joy.
Really the art of light and colours are often not used to thier full advantage.

Gérard Depardieu’s Cyrano ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099334/)
made wonderful use of light, shade, contrast and colours, while not in the same dramatic way as used in Hero
but it is a glorious subtext to the film.

A similar subtext was used in an age of innocence ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106226/) and maybe watching that
dangerous Liaisons (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094947/) after it wasn’t a great idea for contrast, but Dangerous liaisons use varying grades of shadows and startling sunlight instead of washes of colours or glowing lighting but that is fitting to the nature of the film.

All of the films that I have been watching contrasted sharply with ‘The way we were’ the tale being told in that
being more modern with in a modern setting and a lot more American but while Katie and Hubbell are not living
in a society that seems as honour and tradition bound with class and culture and there is a lot less going on in many
of the senses in the way they were in comparison to the structures in China, France and even New York society at the times of the film; they are still restricted despite their freedoms of movement and speech and brashness and daring.

I have often toughts that the loss and lack of use of certain things and traditions have made for life to be a lot more dull.
There were many many ways to accomplish intrigue and the playing of the game and some many of them have been lost
From the language of flowers, to the speaking with fans.

Have things evolved to were the freedom to express ourselves as we see fit of in many cases like children,
robbed us of deeper meanings behind many expressions ?

Many things do not make sense unless you know the context and history to them,
but having watched all that I have over the weekend, even given the difference in time and honour and culture that
one line said from Katie to Hubbell is as full of honour and an expression of true caring and understanding and love
as Cyrano visiting cousin and love in the coven vent, as Ellen Olenska insisting she can endure a life with out Newland,
as Valmont in his cruelly breaking with Tourvel and redeeming her honour after her death with the letters
and as Snow and Broken sword when they reach such an impasses over matter political that they confront each other and die.

While Katie and Hubbell are not warriors as Snow and Broken sword they do have thier differences politically and in what advantages they were born into the world with. Indeed if the King of Quin had not have destroyed thier homeland there would have been no way for a ruffian boy and a generals daughter to have meet and while college/post college was the leveler for Katie and Hubbell; the final parting of them if not to the death which well is not acceptable in modern cultures the parting is still as honorable in the way it is conducted and the amount of understanding and face saved.

ah and now as I look at my book shelf and see the perfect example of living and doing the honorable thing and what is needed not what is easiest but what is required for the good off all. The divorce of Mara and Hohanu for the continuation of thier houses, lines and the empire in Mistress of the Empire ( by Janny wurts and Raymond E. Feist).

Really in light of all of these Romeo and Juliet were a pair of spoilt emo brats.
Still Westside Story takes that theme and when the cultural and historical context and subtext of that time period with
The Jets and The Sharks and newyork at that given time makes it vastly better film/play/musical even with out the
lavish intrigue.

But are matters of love and honour diminished where in a society we have no consequences and can not kill those who
offend and block us ?
Have to say it was nice to see the honour duel in Firefly as a way to settle certain matters.
Duels with guns are really not the thing over such matters, the dance of the blade and indeed the lack in the skills and art of dancing have utterly diminished as well.

There are many skills that a so called modern education does not teach a young person growing up.
Are people less well mannered and aware and quick minded and physically fit and un aware of honour as they have not been taught what was once considered courtly skills ?

The only time I have to say that the movement with guns impressed upon me the art and grace like blades or any martial art was in Equilibrium. Which I think I shall bugger off and watch now and rest my pondering brain.

endings ?

After rereading the last entry I ended up thinking a bollix word relationship is.
Really and why on earth should one type of relationship get to be called that?
I have many relationships of varying types.
All relationships change, really they have or like anything else that is alive they wither and die or if you’re really unlucky they rot.
Some of the most restrictive relationships can be with family who have come to see you in a certain way and know most of your
Faults and flaws and have certain expectations on what you will and won’t do and what you can and can’t do.
The film in her shoes was a good example of that.
The same can be said of relationship with people who you grow up with or people who get used to seeing you in a certain way
And when you feel the need to change yourself and your life resist seeing you in another way.

I value greatly the people in my life I have an intimate relationship with and ESP those that I have been in my life for a long while
And have hung in there despite unpredictibity for it to go from boredom to bucking bronco.

What is with all the pressures and expectations and supposed rules for so called romantic relationships?
I have always believed no one person can be everything to anyone’s.
Funny how misconstrued and clouded communications can get when relationships change and evolve.
Between parents and children, siblings, friends and lovers.

Sometimes when relationships change or the people in them under go a period of change it is the death knell for them.
The best relationships as far as I can tell are those that allow the people in them to change and the relationship to evolve
But manage to keep to the basics of what makes them work.

No matter how transient a relationship is or how long it lasts or what twists it may take it is what we gain and give to them
as people come into our lifes in many many different ways that makes them all worth while.

Mid January

ah mid January the most depressing time of the year.
and with it comes the mid January break ups.
the post christmas, pre holiday booking, pre silly flower day ( valentines) break ups.
It does make a certain ammount of sense.

Ironic really as I have talked this over with several friends over the years
as they looked to end a failing or unworkible relationship with someone they wanted to remain friends
with or care enough about not wanting to ruin yule/chrismas on them or silly flower day.
But to try and be able come the 1st of Feb to make new start when spring comes.

One person simple had to do it as after silly flower day it would be her birthday then easter then his birthday and if it had not of happened then she could have still been going out with him come may and
then the akwardness of breaking up in the run up to the summer.

Can’t say it ever happened to me before, nice to know that even in it’s ending the relationship was just as unique.

Bastards !!!!!!

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I was a questbaby.

For nearly two years but that was over 2 nearly 3 years ago.
There are parts of Norrath I still hold dear. Adventured that happened there that are as real as the stuff I have done in table top
rpgs if not even more so.
I spent more time as that Lil sneak backstabbin dark elf rogue then as any other char I have been.
So many other chars have been variations of that theme from them she lived on in Neverwinter for quiet some time but she
never lived anywhere like she did in Norrath.

I miss her.

When rpging we all but aspects of ourselfs into our charcters.
When I was at one of the lowest parts of my life due to depression she was the fun, funny, bright, twisted, best of me.
I did reclaim it, her all made her part of me again but hell I still have screen shots of certain views in Norrath.
Yes the two guilds that I/she was a part of and officers in no longer exsist there and the high ranking necromancer who’s deadheart tamed and claimed is dead there still is a certain lure to those places.

Not I will not give in and play again, I don’t have the cds to install the game for one…..

Still reall damn them….

Out with the blonde in with the brunette.

brunette

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While I may not be a dedicated follower of fashion even I have been aware that the “in” colour for hair is currently a rich brunette colour.
Not a flat black or russet tones but a honest to goodness rich multitoned brown. Much like what my own hair looks like.
Several dye hard blondes have changed to this look, there are less honey blondes on the play ground waiting to pick thier kids up. A lot of people have also stop the tanning booths or spray on tans as the darker hair and paler skin in apprently in.
The tanned leather skin and bleached to death malibu barbie look is on the decline….
But still I was not prepared to see one of my childhood role models sporting the look.
Yes once Ms Piggy did done a brunette wig when Linda Carter was guesting on the muppet show to complete her
wonder woman out fit but that is a lot different to Ms Piggy going so dark.

Muppets of Oz

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0422778/

I watched the lastest muppets movie with my bratlings this evening.
The muppets interpation of the Wizard of OZ. It has several nods to the 1878 movie The Wiz which stared Diane Ross

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078504/

There are several thing in the muppet production that may confuse people who have only seen the MGM 1939 The wizard of Oz Film

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0032138/

.
For one the Magical slippers are Sliver as they were in the L. Frank Baum book; but with a contempary twist they are also Manolos.

    http://www.literarytraveler.com/spring/west/baum.htm

There are 4 witches as well just like in the book, the witches of the east and west being wicked and the witches of the north and south being good.
Ms Piggy plays them all and we get to see her in biker leathers and playing very much the dominatrix and even more so in later scenes and in a wonderful red and black corseted outfit.
miss piggy wicked witch

So it would appear that one of my childhood idols has not only stood the test of time but been updated in a way which
makes her even more relavant and wonderful in my estimation.
Oh and Gonzo as the tinman was wonderful and so was Fozzy bear as the cowardly lion.
the frog was in it too but I never had much time for him as he didnt respect Ms Piggy for the woman she is.